Alright, perhaps I should get started with some of those details that I mentioned. This is, of course, from my (Brian) perspective, so my feelings and thoughts are somewhat different than what my lovely wife was thinking. She may be writing her perspective later, so I’ll leave some things to her.
We have been married since 2006 and we were waiting until we thought the time was right to start trying to have a child. We moved to St. Louis in 2007 and bought a house and decided to wait and see how things progressed in our lives. We started working on our Master’s degrees in spring 2009 and finally decided that the time was right to start trying for a child in spring 2010. We graduated in December 2010 and figured a baby would be right around the corner.
1 year went by and nothing. Almost daily, people would be announcing that they were pregnant. With each announcement, Sara would be crushed. It was so heartbreaking for me to watch her sit and cry almost nightly that we hadn’t been blessed with a child yet. (Just a note to readers that may be reading that were pregnant: We were very happy for you all and your blessings. It was just painful to see you so happy while we were struggling.) We were referred to a fertility specialist as we hadn’t be successful in conceiving. The fertility specialist seemed very positive and we proceeded to try some aided methods to conceive.
Another year passed and still nothing was happening. We resigned our fate to two options: in vitro fertilization or adoption. We decided on IVF and met with an IVF doctor. This was the most painful visit yet, with the doctor calling Sara “ridiculous,” dictating his patient notes in front of us, and basically telling us that IVF was the only way we were ever going to conceive a child. Needless to say, this was the LAST time we met with this doctor. We decided we needed to find a doctor who was willing to listen and try to work with us. If we ended up at IVF, we would go for it, but we weren’t totally sold that we had tried EVERYTHING.
We found a new fertility specialist and met with him in March 2013. He put us on a new medication and we tried an aided method once again. Shortly thereafter, we were successful! I’ll save all that for another blog post.
Infertility sucks! It hurts a lot of people on a daily basis and is one of those conditions that no one talks about. Questions like, “When are you guys going to have kids?” and “Why haven’t you had babies?” can be very hurtful without intentionally trying. If you are struggling with infertility, or know someone who is, please refer them to this blog! We want to share what we learned so we can be helpful to couples going through the same issues.